Slow Descent
by Gift of the Muses
Summary: Third in the White, Black, Gray storyline. Satoshi and Daisuke's relationship continues while Satoshi watches the effect it has on Daisuke and those Daisuke cares about.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: This story is set after Broken Reflections which is the sequel of White, Black, Grey. I don't know what exactly that makes this one. The sequel sequel? Anyway, if you haven't read the first two, go ahead and indulge. Of course you can just read this one first too, although it might not make all that much sense. But whatever you choose I hope you enjoy this._

Daiki didn't understand what was going on. His world had been turned upside down when Mommy had sat him down and told him Daddy was going away for a while. Daiki had simply nodded and asked when he would be coming back. He had been surprised and worried when Mommy had pulled him into a hug, her shoulders shaking as she cried.

"Mommy?"

"Daddy won't be coming back Daiki."

He didn't understand. Daddy always came home, always. Sometimes it took a while when he was really busy selling his paintings, but he always came back. So Daiki waited.

A couple weeks passed before Daddy came back. He looked like he did after he had locked himself in his studio for a while, tired with circles under his eyes. Daiki ran and threw himself into his father's arms, feeling the stubble on Daddy's face scratch his cheeks. "I missed you Daddy."

"I missed you too Daiki." Daddy's arms tightened around Daiki.

The door behind them squeaked open. Daiki smiled as Daddy released him and stood up. He turned to face his mother. "Daddy's home Mommy."

"Daisuke." Mommy sounded like she did when she was angry and trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry." Daddy whispered.

Daiki looked back and forth between his parents. "Mommy? What's wrong? Daddy?" He gripped Daddy's hand and tried to pull him toward the house. Daddy didn't move.

"Daiki." Mommy didn't look at him as she spoke, her eyes locked on Daddy's face. "Go inside sweetheart. Your Daddy and I have to talk."

There was something wrong, something bigger then he could understand. Daiki was suddenly seized by a fear that rooted him to the spot. His fingers curled around Daddy's hand tighter. "No."

"Daiki." There was the warning in Mommy's voice that only came out when he was being really bad.

Daddy knelt down. "Go on Daiki. I'll come see you after your Mommy and I have talked."

Daiki went.

In his room he couldn't interest himself in his toys. Instead he sat on his bed staring at the door. He could hear the low murmur of his parent's voices through the window then a long silence broken by a knock on his door. He jumped up off his bed as Daddy peeked around his door. "Hey Daiki."

Daiki just watched as Daddy came and sat next to him on the bed. For a while they sat, Daddy sighed once and Daiki felt that funny feeling welling up inside again.

"Daiki," Daddy said again. "I have to tell you something."

Daiki stared, the fear paralyzing him again.

"I have to go…" The rest of Daddy's words faded away.

"Don't go Daddy." The lump in his throat made it hard to speak above a whisper. "I'll be good, I promise. I won't make noise when you're sleeping and I won't bother you when you're working. Please Daddy, don't go."

"Daiki," Daddy sounded like he was going to cry as he pulled Daiki into a hug. Daiki grabbed hold of Daddy's shirt as tightly as he could in both his hands and held on, burying his face in his father's chest.

"It's not your fault Daiki." Daddy said, hugging him so hard he almost couldn't breathe. "It's me, there's something messed up with me Daiki. I have to figure it out."

"Don't go Daddy." Daiki was crying now. "Please Daddy."

"It's not your fault." Daddy repeated, rocking him back and forth. "I love you so much and I'll come see you whenever you want."

"Don't go." Daiki couldn't think of anything else to say. He was crying so hard that his tummy felt funny like it did before he got sick.

Daddy just held him and made shushing noises. "I love you Daiki." He held Daiki comforting him until his sobs degraded into hiccups. Daiki had no more energy to plead, he could only keep his fingers curled tightly in Daddy's shirt, refusing to let go until he fell asleep.

Daddy was gone when he woke up.


	2. Chapter 2

"I want a divorce." Riku knew how much her words had to hurt Daisuke, saw the reality of it darken his eyes and weigh his shoulders down. The small mean part inside her heart was glad. She wanted to hurt him like she'd been hurt.

The rest of her heart protested, too busy looking for an excuse to justify his actions. She cringed away from her attempt of deliberate harm. He probably already blamed himself enough. She loved and hated, forgave and murdered him in her thoughts daily. Her emotions were a constant see-saw of differences. Only one thing remained the same. Her heart was broken.

"I see." Daisuke's voice was soft. He shifted from one foot to the other. In that simple movement she saw again the awkward adolescent boy he'd been, the boy she'd fallen in love with and who had loved her too.

"What happened Daisuke?" Her question was pleading. _Wasn't I enough? Why did you have to leave? Why? Why? WHY?_

"I don't know." A tear escaped Daisuke's eye to roll down his cheek. "There's something wrong with me."

She listened to him use those exact same words to explain to Daiki why he was leaving. She stood outside her son's room, listening to him cry and held her hand over her mouth to muffle her own sobs.

Daisuke came to find her later. "He's asleep." He handed her a small scrap of paper. "I told Daiki he could call me whenever he wanted and I'd come see him."

Riku opened the paper and stared down at the number scrawled on it. "This isn't his…."

Daisuke shook his head. "I rented a place to use as a studio. I'm staying there."

Riku felt an overwhelming surge of relief that he wasn't staying with Satoshi. She knew that they had slept together. Daisuke had admitted as much when she had asked. It made her feel sick to her stomach to think about him being intimate with someone other than her. The fact that it was Satoshi made it worse. If it had been another woman, she could've faced up to her, intimidated her. But she didn't know how to deal with the fact that her husband had slept with another man.

"Why?" That word was all she could find to say.

Daisuke shook his head, silent, unable to provide her with answers. "If you want a divorce," he began, sounding defeated.

Riku shook her head. She did and she didn't. What she really wanted was to go back to how she was before she knew. If only she hadn't found out, they could've gone on pretending. But once you know something you can't ever forget it. It would've been like trying to put spilled liquid back into it's shattered container. The knowledge had seeped into every corner of her being, taunting her with it's presence.

She was crying again, she could feel the tears dripping off her chin and her nose was starting to run. Daisuke moved towards her, arms starting to reach out for her before he stopped and put his hands behind his back as if to physically stop himself from touching her.

"What do you want me to do Riku?"

_I want you to come home. I want you to forget the fact that Satoshi ever existed. I want you to hold me and kiss me and make me believe that everything's going to be okay. I want to wake up from this nightmare. _She couldn't say what she wanted so instead she just shook her head. "We can talk about it later."

"If you want to."

She wanted to run away now. To just leave this whole situation behind. Maybe, maybe they could hide what had happened to their family. No, that wouldn't work. This was a small town. Gossip always traveled fast. She would have to brace herself for the fallout.

The most important thing right now was to ensure her son was protected, even with how jumbled her emotions were that thought remained a constant.

"I think you should go now." If he kept standing there in front of her all of her resolve would melt away.

"Okay." Daisuke paused at the door. "Daiki can call me anytime, okay? Even if it's the middle of the night."

She heard the unspoken offer, but couldn't find strength to answer, so she just nodded. The front door closed behind Daisuke's retreating form and she let herself collapse. She would be strong later, now she just wanted to cry, so she did.


	3. Chapter 3

Daisuke was painting. There was a singular desperation in how his brush flicked across the canvas. Paint splatters spread around him. Satoshi shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket and watched Daisuke work.

"Riku and Daiki moved back in with my parents." Daisuke didn't look away from his painting when he spoke.

Satoshi didn't know what to say. He only stood somewhat awkwardly watching as Daisuke continued to attack his canvas.

"My parents, I don't even know what they think about what happened." Daisuke set his brush down carefully and turned to look at Satoshi. "Do you think I'm a terrible person because I want to have it all? You and Riku and Daiki?"

"I think it just makes you human." Satoshi felt a sudden stab of fear although he was careful to keep his face neutral. _This is it, the moment where he realizes how much he's going to lose if he stays with me. He's not going to stay with me…._

"It hurts. But I realized that no matter what I do I'm going to hurt someone." Daisuke stared up at Satoshi. "I hope that Riku will forgive me someday."

"It's not you she hates." Satoshi gave a terse laugh. "I don't think she'll ever forgive me." _Or her sister either._ He'd run into Risa in town and she had pointedly turned her back on him after giving him a glare that would've seen him murdered on the spot if looks could kill.

"How is it your fault?" Daisuke wondered. "I'm the one who cheated."

That naivete was part of the reason Satoshi fell so hard for him. That and the man seemed to have a constant innocence about him. Satoshi moved in and kissed Daisuke hard, ignoring the fact that he was getting paint all over himself.

"Hey, Satoshi," Daisuke protested. "You're getting yourself all covered in paint."

"I don't care." Satoshi held Daisuke, gripping him tightly. "I told myself that I would be fine with whatever you decided to do." _That I would be grateful for the short time I was allowed to have him. But that's not how I feel anymore. _He swallowed and voiced his last thought aloud. "That's not how I feel anymore."

Daisuke's arms came around him, holding him in return. "I love Riku still. I don't think I could ever stop loving her." Daisuke's voice was soft, but sure. "I can't change that, but Satoshi I'm not losing you. You're my black wings. If I lost them again I don't know what I'd do."

That was enough for Satoshi to hear. The fear subsided and he kissed Daisuke again. Things were starting to heat up when they were interrupted by Daisuke's cell phone.

Daisuke pulled away from Satoshi. "Sorry, it might be Daiki. I told him he could call anytime."

Satoshi straightened his clothes and watched as Daisuke located his phone and answered. "Hello?" There was a pause and then Daisuke's entire face brightened. "Hey there kiddo, how you doing?" Another pause. "Yeah, I miss you too."

Satoshi felt somewhat awkward listening as Daisuke conversed with his son. If Riku hated him then Daiki probably did too. He could understand that. He'd stolen Daisuke away from them. He stood and moved away a bit to give Daisuke some semblance of privacy. Instead he took his time viewing the finished canvases Daisuke had hung here and there.

"Sure, I'll be there Daiki, I'd wouldn't miss your birthday. Don't worry I promise."

Something in Daisuke's voice made Satoshi turn back to look at his lover. The joy that had been in Daisuke's face had faded, replaced by something heartbreaking. Satoshi waited as Daisuke said goodbye and set his phone down carefully.

"Everything okay?" Satoshi asked.

Daisuke shook his head slowly. "I don't think he believes me and I don't know how to reassure him that I'll always be there for him."

Satoshi couldn't think of an answer. "Daisuke…"

"It's okay." Daisuke smiled at him. "I'll do whatever it takes to let Daiki know he's one of the most important people in the world to me."

"He's a lucky kid."

"Huh?"

"Having you for a father." Satoshi frowned at his own memories.

"You really think so?" Daisuke ran one hand absently through his hair. "I don't think I'm all that great."

Satoshi moved over to stand next to him. "You are." He captured Daisuke hand and gave him a critical look. "You need a shower. You've got paint in your hair now."

"Oh, geez." Daisuke looked flustered for a moment before a small smile curved his lips. "So do you." He ran a finger over a paint streak on Satoshi's face. "Want to join me?"

Satoshi couldn't think of any reason to refuse.


End file.
